ZThemes

smallvagina:

scream “WATCH OUT” and throw your wristwatch at them

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

communistbakery:

I was trying to make a pun about escaping quicksand but I’m stuck

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

peterandstiles:

deckthebunkers:

do you find it weird that you’ve known your parents for your entire life but they’ve only known you for a portion of theirs

image

robotsatthedisco:

puppytierjade:

robotsatthedisco:

you can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end

yes you can

shut up nerd